Our own history

Évi

 

I am called Évi and am the woman and blissfully happy partner of László since 2002.

 

Only in the year 1982, 25-year-old I had met the first time young Christians who had told me about how they had come to the faith, and reported to me about the living God. Before, neither my parents said me about this something, nor at school it was talked about it.

 

I already had to work 14-year-old, because my parents had separated themselves and my mother had to educate me with my small sister under heavy circumstances. Soon, I moved from my birth-city Pécs in the capital Budapest in order to look for my luck there, in the hope of a better merit and a better society.

 

Many things have interested me it, but as well as, otherwise, girls at this age, first of all the enjoyment and of course a great love. However, I could not find the "Mr Right" unfortunately, and I was disappointed heavily in my hopes. I was disillusioned so in the course of time that I had reached into an extremely difficult situation.
Otherwise the sense of the life has occupied me a lot, and what the truth which is reality behind the things. I had searched for wisdom. Beside the work in Budapest, I still completed, incidentally, the secondary school in the evening-course.

 

In a night, in the state of a deep mental crisis, as the last hoard, I had implored God: "God, if you exist, help me!"
Some months passed and I have found young Christians, which I had listened thirsty at that time. A gigantic, pushing longing originated in my heart, baptized asap to become and to belong to God. I had given him right and had believed. I was while trying to escape. From my sins, which I had confessed at that time, and from my hopeless circumstances.

After all that, I have taken up letter-contact with László. We had worked before on the same place of work (with the underground, here Metro), and from there we knew each other. As I had learned, that similar things had happened with him abroad, as with me, it was good, him to report about it, and to discuss all this. As well as he was held by his former friends and family-members for crazy, thus also I of some friends and colleagues.

 

However, our well incipient relationship developed quite strangely unfortunately. He could not come home, and me, as a credulous, inexperienced, new Christian, an older, reformed couple took under his aegis which then had exerted an outsized influence on my spiritual life within his small house-circle. Though they rejected the adult's baptism, however, applied spiritual gifts, how the speech in other tongues and the prophecy. They bordered yourself more or less also from the official church through it from, but that situation made also László suspicious (his main argument: to fill new wine into old skins - cannot go well). Especially since the circle was essentially led by the woman. However, they could convinced me, that I must obey them, like the Lord. I was afraid to contradict them, I came rather in a mess, was clumsy, as well as the remaining, mostly young members.

 

The decisive belief methods, mainly the continuous, exaggerated remorse-practices, furthermore our bound state and the paternalism were for László unequivocal characters of bad fruits which qualified, finally, the tree. He has warned me several times that he had differently got to know God, and these teachings and methods would be in contradiction with the scripture, and the grace and freedom of God. However I gave my old, many-experienced, good-natured and nice patrons more beliefs, and did not dare to them to contradict, so that I do not criticize God's servants, and through it God even...
In the meantime, has made to me László a marriage proposal, but with the condition to separate me definitively from them, and to go to him to Germany. This would have been wonderful for me since I already had loved him, but God should have informed the prophet among us that it not his will would be.
László broke off the relationship, and this shocked me awfully. I had remained, had "self-denied" myself, had sobbed and had suffered. And yes, that more than for 15 years.

 

I was reshaped completely in this strange charismatic community during the long years. Seemingly, we went a deep, spiritual way, the way of the suffering, the self-denial and the remorse, I have received many teachings and have read even more Christian books, as well as of course the Bible. It already occurred, that I enjoyed God's consolations, bore also witnesses, nevertheless I was a caught bird. I was at the leading-rein of people, was proud of my ailments and on my manifold knowledge coming from books.

 

Our group has tied close relations with the Mary-sisters from Darmstadt, with whom I myself was as a visitor once for several days. The books of Basilea Schlink, the founder of the sisterhood were translated into the Hungarian and were published in Hungary with our help.
I can understand very well the from the community of Basilea Schlink of gotten free sisters in the meantime and can sympathize with them.

 

For years László has been quiet, he was very disappointed in me, but I could not forget him. When he had moved back in 1992 to Hungary, we came slowly again to dialog whose sequence has become, however, a renewed separation. This has taken me out even more, but I have not understood that the cause was my own religious stubbornness and folly.

 

László wanted to hear nothing more from me, and alone God could still repair these our whole relationship. Because the impossible had happened.
It irritated me more and more the control of the leaders of the circle of me, and the expected continuous childlike obedience, and I had gotten fed up with this type of religious life more and more. I visited László once again, and we had a very good conversation together. I felt well and freely in his society, his honesty and natural behaviour had an effect refreshing on me. His devoted adherence to Jesus impressed me, as he had subordinated everything in his life to the truth recognized by him. This of all has me finally convinced, and I was willing to detach me from my previous community.